I'm thinking about rabbits and faith and politics and water (and the lack there of).

Mostly right now I'm just tired.  When I say tired I mean  that if I were five years old I'd be throwing a temper-tantrum out of sheer exhaustion, and that at my current age I'm not so far from it.

Maybe I should just go to sleep? (I say, as I sit here typing)

It's amazing how little we learn between the ages of five and twenty nine.

Really.  That's all. 

So is there?

So... I'm afraid I've finally given in and joined facebook.  Mostly because it got to the point where I not only was missing informal events, but I was also missing shul announcements and the rabbi that performed the wedding wanted to send us something online and commented that it would be easier where we to have facebook.  So... facebook I have.  But I think I'm going to keep my little corner here.  More private, easier to express myself, more me. 

Wedding pictures have yet to be posted to any of the above.  But they will.  And I will tell where at that point :). 

In the meantime, my two month long internet blackout is done.  Feel free to drop me a line. 

:).

me

I am not writing about the ridiculous number of Yosef's relatives with whom I am spending shabbat or the project that I need to finish for work or the ridiculous number of things I need to deal with.

I am writing to say that I have a copy of Harry Potter to read. 

And I will make the spare time.

The following are my thoughts, interspersed with a Caroline Glick article in the Jerusalem Post:

Column One: Bush, the talented politician | Jerusalem Post:

"Bush told the Palestinians that this is a 'moment of choice' for them. It is time for them to decide if they are for terror or peace. But then, he said the same thing five years ago. Since then, at every decision point, the Palestinians chose terror. They have built terror armies and amassed terror arsenals. The have strengthened their ties to Iran, Syria, Hizbullah and al-Qaida. They overwhelmingly elected Hamas to lead them. But in the interests of advancing its policy of appeasement, the Bush administration abjectly refuses to acknowledge that the Palestinians have already chosen."

I'm not one of the people that ever had a really high opinion of President Bush at the savior of much of anything. Any article that tells me Bush is slow but a good politician does not come as a personal surprise.

But then Bush's political survival will not cost him his physical survival. At most it will continue to costs lives of American soldiers and foreign nationals, at least for a foreseeable future.

What bothers does bother me is that our Government & nation continue to play along...

"To survive in office, Olmert, like Ariel Sharon before him, has agreed to endanger Israel in order to secure the support of the Left in his governing coalition, the media, and the State Prosecutor's office."

For those who don't know, this week brings the Jewish people's historical and national day of mourning, Tisha B'Av. On this day we lost Jerusalem and then Israel, not once, but twice.

Religious Jews, or many of them, will fast and cry and remember those historic losses and what they cost us. Secular Jews, or many of them, will say that we have achieved our own state and that past losses are irrelevant.

I can only hope that it is not too naive on my part to hope that at least some will take this occasion to take a good strong look at where we are, that honest assessment can be made possible, and that we can return from lessons both historic and current to a position of strength and hope rooted in reality and wisdom.

"If you could rename yourself in real life, what would you choose, and why?"

LJ threw this at me as a question after commenting on maric23's post that had nothing to do with this and I found it funny.  Only because everything that has my name on it in this wedding stuff subsequently causes a complaint by my father that I go primarily by my middle name rather than my first name.  He consistently reminds me that he named me my first name so that I would be called my first name.  And every time I write something, rather it be a website or place card or a logo, I then have to debate what will my name be and for whom. 

So, the answer to LJ is that I actually have more than enough names for just now, but thank you for asking. 

Just because I feel this LJ can use more positive thoughts:

• I have a dress.  Not in the have sense but in the it is patiently waiting for me until I come in for another fitting and then again until I take it out for the wedding sense.  But it's there and picked and this is good.
• Invitations are in a final stage and actually look like they will look good.

• Shabbat was really nice.  Friday got some quality beach time.  Shabbat got to read an old David Brin novel.  Best of all I actually got time with Yosef.
  
• I have a decent place to stay for the next three weeks complete with AC and some quite time to myself.
• And, as complete bonus news, I might have found us a really good deal on an American (this means self cleaning) oven.  For those who have never had non self cleaning ovens, this is a really, really, really good thing. 
  

All in all, not so shabby. 

We spent the past two weeks painstakingly negotiating invitations.  We being mostly myself and Y's parents.  They wanted something conservative (as usual) and without extraneous words.  Preferably with the same text as at least 3/5 of their friends children's invitations.  Negotiations ended.  We will see how printer did with layout later today.  Wish me luck.

Now we are trying to register.  Ha.  Actually that means trying to figure out what to do about the fact that any place with a registry in Israel is impractically expensive and any place with a registry in America is just impractical except for maybe linens and towels (not that we have any idea what size linens we will need, that would entail having a bed, but I guess we can pretend). 

My favorite so far is fish flatware  mostly because I hate having to judge things by pictures and find ordering from the states ludicrous.  That being said, realistically I have no idea how I want to deal with this other than being overwhelmingly annoyed. 

Suggestions anyone?

Last weed brought a friend's father's funeral and a different friend's son's brit.
This week we're on to shiva call today followed by engagement party tomorrow followed by pidyon haben on Wednesday. 
All this to the backdrop of wedding plans and family complications. 

It's all getting to be just a little too much, a daily aerobic routine of life-cycling. 

In other news, mosquito netting over my bed allowed me to sleep last night without being dinner (and breakfast, lunch and snack at the rate I was going) to any other creatures.

Oh, and we just may have found an apartment...

I meant to spend today:

1) Working on catching up on the accounting work I should have gotten in a week ago when I was out with the flue
2) Catching up with Technical Writing Homework
3) Making phone calls for work
4) Packing up and heading out of babysitting job
5) Actively researching things for wedding that I actually care about

I actually spent today:

1) Finding out that my friend whose son I've been babysitting got stuck in the states for another day (She was less happy about it than I was, her plane was canceled)
2) Taking care of my friends cat, who I noticed last night was sick, and spent the day at the vet with as it seems the cat has pneumonia.  (Kitty's now on antibiotics and home)
3) Breaking the above news to kid and making it sound not so bad and keeping him entertained.

At what point do I actually give up on catching up?

The past 3 days have been spent by me watching a friend's 10 year old child... This has had it's advantages... A nice house to hang out in during the day, yummy food left in the refrigerator, and some general quite when the boy is in school.  Mostly, it's been a learning experience.

1) It's incredibly hard and torturous for all parties involved to get a kid up in the morning and get them off to a school they positively hate.  His mother warned me he hates school and that he's picked on.  And he just looks so dejected every morning I feel bad.  Not sure what the take home of this is other than pick school carefully.  And be very afraid of doing so incorrectly. 

2) The boy is smart, fairly considerate, and very organized.  He also has no ability to entertain himself.  Which is one of those things that I've heard about, and read about, but hadn't really experienced before.  I have to believe there are ways to avoid this, even in our sensory overloaded world.    Thoughts?

3) Kids are a whole lot of responsibility.  Nothing new here, I know.  And yet, there's a difference between theory and practice. 

That's all for now... I'm going to make up an hour of sleep and then two days worth of missed class work. 

Oh, and figure out a guest list.  If anyone has ANY ideas on how to go about doing this they would be appreciated. 

Wish me luck

My wireless card seemed to very clearly be dead, not very pleasant, but I couldn't seem to do much about it  other than lug around cables every where. 

This was not conducive to writing large, or small amounts.

My wireless card, after re-installing both it and it's drivers, seems to be working just now.  I just hope it keeps up the good work.  Bli eyen horah, etc. 

My wedding date is August 28 29th.  (Note correction, I was tired).  I have a place.  I have a caterer.  I do not have anything else settled.  Anyone who tells you planning a wedding is fun is either oblivious, rich, or psychotic, and I'm not even sure about the rich thing. 

On top of this suddenly every family issue you never really wanted to deal with, or knew you had, comes out of  the woodwork to appear, in living color, partly in front of family number two with which you have to deal with a lot for the fist time...

I'm ranting.  I'll stop now.

I need to find a dress.  I need to negotiate on silly details that I'm told it's ok to care about but I wonder.  Video vs. Photographer anyone?  Thoughts?  Who wins? 

People keep saying your getting married, that's so exciting.  I want to be excited -- not frustrated or guilty or otherwise not just flat blocked from being as happy as I really am about the marriage about the wedding as well.

Other than that.  I finished C. Academy. 
I had a week with a flu bug. 
I went a week not seeing Y.

 And I really, really ,need some time for me. 

More meaningful post soon.  Really...

We're learning formatting in class.  It's going rather slow just now so I thought I'd share my story while the class is trying to figure out how to copy files in windows.

Purple Puppies
Puppy eats Radish
Once upon a time there was a purple puppy.  He liked to eat radishes.  He learned that he liked radishes when his mother replaced his balloon with a radish.  Purple Puppy was very sad that his new radish didn’t float until his mother told him that it was good to eat.  At first Purple Puppy was still sad.  Then he ate the radish and decided it wasn’t so bad.  Then he realized that it was kind of good and he wasn’t so hungry. 

·    Puppy
·    Radish
·    Balloon
·    Turnip
Purple puppies might just like things other than balloons

So I haven't gotten a chance to write so much lately.  My life tends to go in waves of busy and now is a definite wave part. 

Most of my apartment is in fact packed up and will be moved to somewhere.  Where is yet to be determined.  In the meantime I'm staying by friends and being appreciative.

I started class in technical writing and see potential.  Two days a week.  Not bad.

Started new job.   It will be an interesting excercise in people skills. 

Really need to work on paper more.  Really need more time in which to work on paper.  Probably Sunday is the best candidate.

Other than that, nothing new to print just now. 

Back to work with me...

So, after two months of my flatmate telling me that the landlord wasn't really serious about wanting us out... The landlord decided to not accept rent.  He told me that flat out.  At which point I told my room mate and she said not a problem. 

The next day the landlord tried to break the door down to throw us out. 

All of what the landlord is doing is patentedly illegal.  That doesn't help.  The police have opened a file.  Which doesn't make me feel better given that he lives upstairs.  My flatmate has apparently consulted with a lawyer but I have no idea what the hell is going on despite the fact that she feels I still have to communicate with the landlord -- the crazy one who was apparently just having a series of bad days and will decide to be reasonable any moment.

Flatmate still doesn't think this is a big deal.  After all, it's illegal.  So she changed the locks and is ok living downstairs from him and not sending the rent certified as is demanded by law.

So, now I'm looking for ... something.  Maybe a one bedroom.  Maybe a sublease.  If you know of anything I'd love to hear about it. 

Confirmation that I'm not the crazy person here is also apreciated. 

My apartment is clean.  Bread free.  Ritually checked and all. 

I've looked over the seder text.  I've given though to several pre passover drashot/speeches.  I have ironed clothes and a baggie full of bread to burn tommorow and my haggadah is on my table.  And I don't feel at all ready for the holiday.

I feel, personally, as if I'm in the eye of the storm.  Everything is calm but somehow, at any moment, something will hit.  Maybe it will be more Israel bureaucracy, maybe it will be more arguments with my landlord, maybe it will be any of too many decisions I need to make right freakin now without the tools to really make them well.  All that is on a personal level.

On a national level I read the news and I want to cry.  Arms build up in Gaza.  Arms build up up north.  We have soldiers still captive.  The Saudi Plan -- arabs are calling for peace if only we agree to demographic suicide -- if we don't agree then we are clearly asking for war.  Our government is the least impressive it's ever been.  The current argument is at what point to publicize the interviews showing just how unimpressive it is at what cost to whom.  Not fun.

The world, well, its not in any great shakes either.  Hostages here and there.  Signs saying boycott Beijing Olympics because of Tibet.  Everyone talking and no one listening.  We should ignore enmity.  We should increase enmity.  Save the planet from global warming, from deforestation, from ourselves. 

And in the backdrop of all of this I look to enter into the season of redemption.  We are to feel redemption and feel on the path to self redemption and feel that it is our part to help the world along, along with ourselves.  Maybe the experience of redemption is meant to be a challenge, and only when we struggle with it ourselves can we understand that it is also a responsibility. 

Wish me luck. 

Today I actually cleaned out the drain of my bathroom sink.  The drainage cup full of decayed stuff might well be the grossest thing I've ever encountered as far as such things go.  Still, I feel a sense of accomplishment at fixing the darn thing myself.  Now I just need to figure out what to do about the stuck tap.  Plumbing 101 - to be continued. 

Weekend was:  A day and a half vacation w/ boy and friends.  For those unfamiliar w/ the town of Zichron Yaakov it was one of the original settlements during the first imigration wave back in the 1800's.  It is currently a scenic little town that redefines cute, complete with two wineries, lovely overlooks, a puppet/toy store that I fell in love with, and the best Italian resteraunt I've been to in years.

Animal Taki is not all it should be.  Think uno with animals written for 6 year olds.  Rooster means reverse (and you have to say cocadoodledoo).  Needs either more balanced rules or more alchohol. 

Much fun was had by all. 

The shabbaton was a mixed bag.  Nice people.  Good shiurim.  I got to chat with an old friend I hadn't seen in a while.  The not so minor little issue of separate seating really just left me not able to enjoy the whole thing as much as I would have otherwise.  Less on principle then a simple sense of hurt.  Still working on articulating.

I need to start cleaning for Pesach/Passover.  To do this I need to stop freaking out about/ignoring it. 

Tomorrow is Raanana day -- back to commuting to obscure work writing about weird random things.  Yay work. 

Too many questions.  Not enough answers. 

Going to pizza places and not ordering pizza is weird.  But in some cases equally yummy.

The song listed under music was great for anyone who's never encountered it.  Yay Pandora.

I to bed.  Good night. 

It's snowing. 

My last job has, I think, come to an end.  Actually I owe them about eight more hours of work which I will do today.  Then I will proceed to move on with it in mind that maybe, if someone buys the project and if they liked my work  more than the ? and if I want to continue writing about terrorism, then maybe they might call me. 

I decided not to hold my breath.

So instead I am currently researching and writing about national parks in America.  Suffice to say bike paths are much more cheerful then who died on what bus explosion in what year.  And this way if I ever win the lottery and get to go on a national park tour of the United States I will know exactly what to do. 

I love working in writing.  It's so random.

This project of course is also a project, meaning I have no idea how long it will take to get through and rather or not through means through.  So in the mean time I've gone and accepted an entry level admin/technical details job for the Academy I've been learning in starting in May.  After which I am there for a definite two months followed by possibly more. 

Confused yet?

The good news is I am making ends meet.  The better news is I am taking classes in the meantime both in direction of long term careerness and in making shorter term ends meet better.  One day I might even be able to finish (gasp) my degree. 

The really good news.  I get a day of vacation tomorow :)

It's Thursday but I keep feeling like it's Sunday, as if the week has somehow gone backwards.  I can't even begin to explain that statement, none the less there it is.  I also feel like I got nothing done.  Not good.

Purim came and went.  I got complements on my costume.  I lost my wolf puppet :(. Seudah started a little on the late side and continued a little on the late side leaving me to only get to Jerusalem a lot on the late side.   Next year I am going to make it home to Jerusalem in time for my megillah reading.  Lessons learned.  That said, Jerusalem seudas were really quite pleasant.

I really want to take off next year and learn.  Finally it looks like the oportunity to do that may be looking more real.  Also, looking at doing a technical writing course over the course of the next couple of months to hopefully be able to suport myself on the side. 

For once I actually have a plan that I like.  Now I just need to see if I can make it work.

Speaking of work, my job is supposed to finish tommorow.  I am still not done with my amount of work.  Hopefully that will be ok.  More hopefully I can continue for another month until I find something else. 

Working on work and final paper idea for Academy and Hebrew and well, on working.   Which I should get back to...